It’s one thing to want to live your life by your own definition of success, but what if you don’t even know what that definition is?
Sometimes it can be hard to even figure that out. It’s particularly hard when you’ve been living life according to the way you were raised or what others around you have been doing for as long as you can remember.
If you aren’t sure and looking for some guidance, here are some things to think about.
Before you think about the following questions, let me give you one piece of advice: Don’t overthink this.
Go with your initial answer even if it doesn’t feel like it makes sense. Stop yourself from judging your answers. Lay it out without thinking.
- What would you do if you had all the money you could possibly need? How would you spend your time?
- What areas in your day or life make you spin out into stress and anxiety?
- Who do you follow or read about that inspires you?
Seriously, take a minute and right these things down. I’ll wait!
Now that you’ve done this, let’s dive into each question.
Question 1: What would you do if you had all the money you could possibly need? How would you spend your time?
Often we have mental blocks related to money. Many women I’ve worked with have reasons they cannot have the lives or careers they want because of money – whether that be that they have to pay for education/childcare costs, they don’t feel like they can make a lifestyle change, or there’s a big purchase they want to save for. If you strip this away, it’s likely that this will tell you something about what you value.
I’ll give you a personal example. When I answered this question at the beginning of my own transformation, I said that I would go to different conferences and events in the personal development or business space. I would travel with my family. I would still work regardless of not needing to.
Do you see what is underlying this? I value learning, growth, travel/new experiences, family, and fulfilling work.
Question 2: What areas in your day or life make you spin out into stress and anxiety?
Sometimes it’s easier to identify what we don’t want instead of what we do want. If it bothers you, there’s also likely something important about why it’s bothering you that make be deeper than just an everyday annoyance.
For example, for me, I got stressed about feeling like I was always rushed. I was rushing to get my house in order to leave for work, I was rushing to leave work and pick up my daughters from daycare, and I was rushing to get dinner on the table before it was bedtime.
Underlying this was that I didn’t want my life to feel rushed. I wanted to be deliberate and have time for the things I needed to do – manage my household, spend intentional time with my daughters, and cook healthy meals without having to cram it in to my day. I wanted to be deliberate instead of feeling like I was doing things halfway.
Question 3: Who do you follow or read about that inspires you?
The people you follow or read about likely have something that you also want to have. Or, they could be inspiring you to reach for things in your life that you struggle with.
In my case, I followed a lot of entrepreneurs. I didn’t even realize that might not be something everyone does or that it was related to what I wanted in my life. I also followed personalities on social media that appeared to be intentional about how they spent their time (example: Lara Casey).
These questions can get you started down the path in defining what you success might look like for you.
I’d love to hear what you learned from these questions. Let me know in the comments!