I love a good personality profile. I know my Myers-Briggs Type, my Enneagram, and my Strengths through Strengthsfinder.
Like those fun quizzes you get suckered into on Facebook, lots of results are just nice to know. What would you even do with which Hogwarts team you’d be on?
But some of these tools have actually caused me to make some real changes in my life.
As for me, my tendency is an Obliger. This means that I meet outer or external expectations, but I may struggle to meet inner expectations that I put on myself.
You may be wondering how it is that I get so much done or have achieved what I have if that’s true. Do I let myself down all the time? The answer is no, but there are certain areas that I’ve struggled with over time and I could never understand why.
One way I unknowingly set myself up for success with She Reaches is that I had a business partner. There was someone else I didn’t want to let down by not doing my part on time.
This worked well because She Reaches was a side project outside of my corporate job as VP of sales which meant it wasn’t the most necessary part of my life. I could easily have let it slide if I was on my own.
But now, if you’ve been following along here, you know that Becca has stepped away from She Reaches.
Knowing my Obliger tendency, I wondered how I would keep myself focused and accountable without expectations from someone else. This was particularly problematic since there was so much to do to make the transition without having someone else to split the work with!
In this case, my solution was hiring a business coach.
It was something I’d considered for over a year, but now was the right time. Each week, I now have someone who would keep me accountable in doing what I said I would do.
Even though it is still my expectation or task, the people pleaser in me doesn’t want to be the unsuccessful or unproductive client. I want a gold star in all the progress I’ve made!
Another area that I have struggled with is healthy eating and exercise. It’s ironic as this was something I spent a lot of time and effort on before I had kids.
After my schedule and priorities changed, I tried different ways of meal planning and different workouts, but nothing stuck.
I was stumped, even though taking care of my health actually still is a priority even after having kids – maybe even more so!
After reading this book, a lightbulb went off. I tried to think back to when I actually did well with exercising regularly.
Sure enough, I did the best with exercise when I had accountability like a workout partner or even briefly a trainer.
Years ago, I used fitness tracking sites (before there were apps and Fitbits!) to compete with myself for more active minutes or calories burned.
I signed up for races to run so I had a goal.
What I was really doing was creating another kind of accountability for myself. I told people I was doing a race. In my mind, they expected that I would do it. This meant I had to train for it to not let them down.
In reality, I doubt they cared either way, but it made a difference for me.
While this one is still a work in progress for me, I am going to try two things:
- Reframe exercise and healthy eating as something that is an expectation in my family. I want to be around for a long time for my daughters and I want to teach them good habits that they can take with them when they are my age.
- I’m on the lookout for a workout partner. I just moved to a new state so I’m not sure who this will be, but I do know that it will help to make the effort to find someone – even better if they also need the accountability!
Have you read The Four Tendencies? If not, does any of this ring true for you? Let me know in the comments.