Today’s inspirational thought is more of a mantra I hope will stay with me for some time – Make only positive assumptions.
Let’s consider a few scenarios.
Say someone cuts you off as you are driving. Should you scream and honk and give them the bird? Or, take a deep breath and keep driving?
Or, say your friend doesn’t invite you somewhere . Do you assume she is just the rude person you always thought she was or do you assume nothing at all?
Or say you partner/roommate/spouse forgets to run an errand. Do you assume they don’t care about your relationship in the same way you do or that it was an honest mistake?
Assumptions, if unexpressed, generally lead to disappointments. It is much more effort to believe the person did something to “get you” than it is to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume something either positive or neutral.
While one can argue that it is best to not make any assumptions, I am not sure that is realistic for me at this moment. So, I aim to make only positive assumptions when I am feeling the anger or resentment or disappointment build. For the above scenarios, I will assume the driver is late and needs to get somewhere super fast, that I hope my friend had a great time and I’ll invite her next time, and that my husband made an honest mistake. It’s an approach that assumes the glass is always half full.
And should I make a negative assumption, my goal is to communicate that to the individual it effects. For example, I would say to my friend I assumed I would be included, or to my husband I assumed you would take care of that task. It doesn’t mean I was right in my assumption, but if I had it, I should communicate it so that both parties are on the same page and can move forward productively. No one likes being in the dark.
So, what assumptions are you not going to make today?